Prostate cancer is affecting my sex life Jul 22nd 2013, 06:00
I'm having erectile difficulties because of my illness but am too shy to take it up with my doctor. What should I do?
I'm still very much in love romantically with my wife of 30 years. Recently, I've been diagnosed with prostate cancer and I have difficulties with erection. I'm rather traditional in my attitudes and would find it difficult to discuss this with my doctor. What simple measures can I take to maintain what has previously been an active sex life?
Your sexual functioning – and how it may be affected – is a standard and essential topic for discussion during your medical consultations. Ask important questions such as "What changes might I expect during and after treatment?" and "What are my options for improving erectile capacity?" You deserve full, detailed answers, because sexual functioning, if lost, greatly affects one's quality of life. After treatment, medication to improve erectile functioning is common, but there are other options such as a vacuum pump. Injections can also deliver helpful erection-supporting agents. If your doctor is suggesting surgery, ask whether it can be "nerve-sparing" (designed to provide better functioning afterwards). Ask about a penile rehabilitation programme, and consider seeking sex therapy.
Most men define sexual prowess as achieving erectile perfection, but in fact your romantic connection with your wife is not dependent on your penis. Women can be intensely satisfied in other ways, so try to loosen your "traditional attitudes" to allow for say, oral or manual stimulation.
• Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders
• If you would like advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@guardian.co.uk (please don't send attachments).
YOUR COMMENT
